I am learning that saying no sometimes to helping others is necessary. Is that selfish? No, as a matter of fact I make the argument that it is beneficial to both parties. Sometimes that emphatic NO is the extra push needed to move someone to another level in their life. Think of a child learning to ride a bike. If they always have a parent to steady and guide them along they will never fall and master the task and be free to ride all on their own. Sure there may be some bruises along the way but they will know what its like and feel the pride in accomplishing something by themselves. As long as some people feel they have a crutch they will use it...I don't mind helping people out for good valid reasons, occasional slip ups or situations from no fault of their own, but sometimes people put themselves in situations that could have otherwise been avoided either because they flee and are not adult enough to handle a situation maturely or just because they are so use to having someone or people to constantly run or switch out when they want to flee a situation. Sometimes we become enablers, halting the development and capabilities of those we love. It is important to find draw the line between helping someone down on their luck and enabling someone who fails to take responsibility of their situation. Many people enable their children and set them up for failure, limiting them from reaching their full potential. When they become adults they have no real concept managing finances, paying bills, purchasing homes, keeping a job, appropriate processes for interviewing for jobs, networking, etc. Sure its nice to say "I dont have to work , or my mom and dad buys this for me". But what happens when you no longer have that support and you find difficulty in finding someone else that will support your every need?
It is not until they realize they ultimately are responsible for themselves and they are not someone elses responsibility and that that person may not always be there that it clicks and they begin to make better decisions...You cant run at first site of a obstacle. If you flee at the first onset of an obstacle you will never be able to sustain anything worth having. Not only will the that person minimize their chances of success, but you also risk reaching your maximum potential in the process from the extra weight.
Sad some people learn that so late in life. Lucky that I had grandparents that taught me the importance of working hard and standing on my own two early in life. Not to say that I haven't had to ask for help, but I have never in my adult life, being an able bodied, competent male, depended solely on the fruits of someone elses labor nor became complacent with having someone provide for me half of my adult life.
